Friday, August 28, 2009

Day 239 (Raspberry Sherbet)

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. - Quentin Crisp

OK, so let me start by giving you, my dear readers, a warning: Tonight's blog will be harsh. It will be full of vulgarities and truth. If you can't handle it, please, stop reading now.

You're still here?

Then let's dig in.

This is for the sorry ass men out there who treat their women like shit and release them back out into the wild for men like me to fix.

I'm tired of cleaning up your shit. MEN who are like me is tired as well.

You bastards won't treat your woman right, you disrespect her, you call her out her name and smack her around like her head was a tether ball, cheat on her, bring home diseases, and then decide that she's not good enough for you (or get tired of having sex with her), and leave her out on the corner.

On the outside, she's a strong woman. Very well put together. Hard worker. Then she meets me. And in the beginning she likes me. I show her attention, I call when I say I will, I'm gainfully employed, and I show all the qualities that she's looking for in a potential life mate.

The problem comes in when she feels like everything that I'm doing is too good to be true.

I tell her she's beautiful every day. She thinks I'm full of shit or hiding something. That's because your stupid ass never appreciated what you had.

I tell her that I believe that she can do whatever she puts her mind to and that I will always have her back no matter what. She thinks I'm just saying that so I can get her in bed. That's because your no expectation having ass don't expect nothing from your illiterate self, so you don't expect her to do better.

I call when I say I will. She thinks I'm out cheating. That's because you NEVER called. Well, you did, but only when you wanted to come through and smash with that disease infected limp noodle you got.

I give her money when she needs it. She thinks that I'm paying her for sex. That's because your broke ass never had no money, so you exchanged sex for money. (And let's get the record straight, it's OK to give YOUR woman money. If she's your woman, and you're supposed to be a team, why would you NOT help your team out? Only broke dudes swear every woman is out to stick them for that measly ass $50 she needs.)

I don't have a problem with a woman with kids. She thinks it's because I got 6 or 7 kids I don't take care of. That's because... YOU got 6 or 7 kids by 6 or 7 different women and you don't take care of the ones you DO have.

I don't argue loudly or raise my hand to her. She thinks no matter what I say, I will one day. That's because you beat her like a bass drum and then have the audacity to bring your pussy ass back to her with that sorry, half-assed apology. And can them crocodile tears, you couldn't act your way out of a wet paper bag.

I never once say anything disrespectful like her hair is messed up or she needs to get her nails done or that she's getting fat. She thinks that I don't care how she looks overall. That's because you were always on her about keeping her appearance up, but then again, your broke ass NEVER go get a haircut, clip your dirty ass nails, and you don't mind being 5'6" 375 pounds, but she better not EVER say anything about your weight because it hurts your feelings. Fucking asshole.

This is just a small example of the shit I have to clean up. I have to endure getting called too intense, too mushy, too clingy, or whatever is the term for the day because to you, EVERY woman is a ho, and you could never marry a ho, at least that's what the streets said. You think every girl you date has to look like Rosa Acosta or Halle Berry, but then, you don't look like Morris Chestnut or Denzel Washington. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date a dime, but understand that you need to treasure the woman you DO have. Stop trying to upgrade your woman and upgrade yourself, you uneducated, no dream having, dumb fuck.

I get sick and tired of dating a woman who is just fine the way that she is, that can do whatever she puts her mind to, and as soon as I say that she's lovely, I get the third degree because she thinks I'm you.

Fuck you, you rat faced bastard, I'm not you, and you're right, I could never be you.

I'll never let myself slip that damn low or be a failure like you.

Women, listen up. You are beautiful just the way you are. We ALL have issues, every last one of us. Embrace your flaws, and trust me, someone out there will do the same. You just have to stop settling for these wack ass, don't-do-right LITTLE BOYS who couldn't take care of home with $100 million dollars and an instructional video showing them step by step how to make sure your woman is happy enter your life. These dudes is backwards, they don't understand that if they make YOU happy, you will do whatever is in your power to make your man happy.

I would say that these are life lessons, but some dudes have never lived, so they've never learned these lessons.

Dude. You're lame. It's not a game so I can't tell you to step your game up. These are REAL women with REAL feelings. But what I can tell you is to get your shit straight.

But I don't even know why I wrote this. You won't read this. You can't read. Simple ass nigga.

Now playing: Dj Rasta Root - Classic Example : The Rest of Dilla Vol. 1 Mixed by: Dj Rasta Root
via FoxyTunes

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