Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Day 215 (Orange Sherbet)
What is 'real'? How do you define 'real'? - Morpheus
So, let me get this right. Sherbet is actually synonymous with sorbet? So, then it's not actually ice cream? So, it's just posing as if it is ice cream, but it's not?
I've dealt with it all my life. People posing. People saying I'm posing. I always tell people, I'm exactly the person I was when you met me. I was always told, when people show you who they are, believe them. I don't just show the good and hide the bad, I show it all... in pieces. I give you little pieces of me on purpose, because there should never be one person who knows EVERYTHING about you.
But there have been times in my life where I've given someone huge chunks at a time and even all of me at once. Or, I at least attempted to. I did because my defenses were down, and I did things that I don't normally do. But those people are few and far between. Not everyone deserves to know me.
So when posing comes up on their end, and I see their true colors, sometimes, it gets me kinda angry because it's like, I'm the same goofy, silly nut job you met, and if I'm cool with you and who you are (or who you say you are) why can't you be cool with yourself to present to me? When they say posing comes up on my end, I tend to ask for details on how I might have been a poser. When the details they give me are just skewed versions of their reality, I shake my head and, if I care about them enough, try to school them on who I am, at least, that part of me that they say I am posing from. It doesn't always work.
Today, I got called sherbet when I'm really ice cream. It wouldn't have hurt, but it came from someone who I let my guard down with. It got me to thinking, maybe I really am sherbet. But then I thought about everything that lead up to them saying that, and you know what I got?
I got a bunch of unanswered questions. How did they come to this conclusion? Was it based on something I said? An event? Something I did/didn't do? Was it one thing?
I looked deep inside myself and found those answers. And I found out that at some point, you can't change people's perception of you, even when that perception is wrong, or based on one thing (reason, mistake, etc...). I had to melt away.
Perception, like time, is relative. It only matters to you. Einstein said “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” When you're happy with someone, you see what they do as entertaining. When you're angry with that same person, that very same thing they do could be the worst thing ever. It's always about your mind state when you view someone, nothing more, nothing less. Your story will always differ from mine because of our differing perceptions. Always. Why? Because there's always three sides to a story, yours, mines, and the truth.
What will the truth say about you? Are you sherbet or are you ice cream?
Now playing: N*E*R*D - Rock Star