Thursday, August 27, 2009
Day 238 (Maple Nut)
No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back - Turkish Proverb
So, the post idea I had for tonight about envy has to wait. Don't worry, it's already written, but it just needs to hold off until I can edit it properly.
I need to get this off my chest, and fast.
I am lost down the wrong pathway in a maple forest. All of the trees look the same, and I'm starting to panic.
It's like drowning, the more you panic, the more water you take on until it just happens.
I made a HUGE mistake, and I'm starting to panic that I may have messed up something that not even *I* can fix (but I don't know if it's something that can just be "fixed", it could be my own insecurities that's making me panic). Everybody comes to me when they need something, but I need me and me isn't helping I.
It always seems like I take one step forward and two steps back. Everything starts to look familiar, like I've been here before and I can't really find my way out.
My will, however, will not let me give up.
I think that maybe if I use my two steps back as actual steps forward, I can find my way out of this with EVERYTHING intact.
This forest will change me. It will even damage me. But it will not defeat me. I will not give up, I will not back down.
I will not lose.
Now playing: Jill Scott featuring 4Hero - Gotta Get Up (Another Day)