Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I think it's wonderfully and woefully crazy how the world works.
When you try to get a piece of peace, turmoil comes at you from all angles. There isn't a moment to even think, much less gather some peace.
When you could care less about keeping the peace, peace sticks around; makes itself known. Those are the times when peace pulls up a lawn chair.
I've always said when I got my own place, I would make me a garden of peace. Just somewhere away from the telephone and the internet and everybody and just sit there. Watch my fountain shoot water into a never ending blue sky. Drink some sun tea, and just grab a good book or two and be at peace; not only with the world, but with myself.
I think that's part of the problem.
I'm not at peace with the world. And the world knows it, because it's constantly trying to make me not be at peace with myself. Eternal struggle, constant tug-of-war. It's enough to make someone give up on peace.
But not me.
Now playing: 14KT - A Garden Of Peace (Revisited)
Friday, March 26, 2010
I still have her pictures.
The ones at the beach. The ones at a restaurant with her mother. The ones in the bathroom mirror. The ones after she cut her hair. The ones fresh out of the shower.
I have them all.
I haven't looked at them in months.
But they are there. Right there in that folder.
I could delete them. But why? My mind still remembers the excitement of those pictures, the smiles.
Besides, my heart wouldn't let me. Trust me, I tried. Numerous times.
I was a summer fling. Of course, in the back of mind, I knew this. But it didn't matter. She was the woman I used to dream about. I had this... idea that we were going to make it. We would go our separate ways and then years later, we would reconnect and then make our dreams come true.
I need to apologize, because our dreams really were MY dreams. And I tried my hardest to sleep while I was awake, so I could live out my dreams.
I slept so much, though, that I slept though all the signals. She left.
She left me with a folder full of past
I happily took it. I thought I was gonna dream forever.
Dream about her.
Dream about us.
Dream about what was.
Dream about what could be.
Sunlight's here, though. No more dreams.
I'm making my own reality.
Now playing: Method Man, Ghostface, & Raekwon - Our Dreams