It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart. - Anonymous
I normally don't do social commentary.
Let me clarify what I just typed. I don't want to be one of "those" blogs; you know, the ones who regurgitate everything that's already posted somewhere else. I don't want to be labeled as whatever (hater, lame, shock blogger, etc.) because I have a different view on things going on in the socialite world; personally, I don't think any of my readers is THAT interested on how I feel about Tiny and Toya (I don't feel anything about Tiny and Toya).
But today... today, I have to make a statement, only because it hits home for me.
This is Amber Rose. Say hi.
Ok, now that the formal introductions have been done, let me discuss the problem.
Today, there were pictures of Amber and her boy/friend KanYe West in Miami. She was wearing a bikini... if you can call it that. If you're interested enough, you can look it up, I'm not posting those pictures of her; they don't have much to do with what I'm talking about.
What does interest me is some of the talk that I heard today.
"She's ugly."
"Why would you want to be with someone who looks like that?"
"Man, my girl needs to look like that; my girl is too big."
"Now THAT'S thick, (insert woman bigger than Amber) is just fat."
Mind you, these are all REAL comments made to me or around me today. I heard and read arguments from both sides. The Team Amber side and The Team Anti-Amber side.
Here's my thought's on Amber before I continue (simply because I won't talk about her again in this post): I think she is a beautiful woman. She's not my type, but that does not take away from the fact that she is very pretty. I'm just not attracted to her.
With that being said, I think that people take their own opinions as fact for everybody, when in all honesty, those are your opinions and your opinions ONLY. I think that my woman is the most beautiful woman in the world. I do. (Well, wait, um, she's not my woman, she's not even... look, I just think that she's AMAZINGLY beautiful...) She doesn't fit into Hollywood's "standards"; thin, tall, makeup on all the time, etc. But she fits into mine. Now, there's nothing wrong with you disagreeing with me
just not in my face, I've fought people for less; that's your opinion. However, don't try to get your friends and homies to jump in with you in saying that she's not attractive
because they can get they meat lumped too because of what you think about her not having a body like Amber's (OK, last mention, I swear). It's just an opinion.
I personally don't think Halle Berry is all that. I said it. And I meant it. She's pretty, don't get me wrong, but she doesn't attract me. At all. If we were to pass in the street, I wouldn't turn my head; my eyes would follow as she walked out of my peripheral vision, but that's about it. (You can try to call me out on that if you like, but fair warning, I don't play fair.)
I don't dig skinny chicks.
And people confuse that with hating.
I can call a slim woman cute. I can say "She's got a nice appeal about her". But at the end of the day, I like my women to have meat on their bones. Now, I know that people are out there saying "But O, beauty fades with time". Who says? Some tired ass cliché? No, beauty, like time, like love, like perception, is relative. It only matters to YOU.
The type of woman that attracts me isn't 5'8" 130. Hell, if she's 130, she better be 4'10". But this is all initial attraction, I'm not going to delve into how personality comes into play when finding a life partner (that's another post).
Initial attraction. Initial reaction. Even the Venus Fly Trap looks nice initially to a fly.
What I want and need is women who are confident in themselves. Listen, if you're a big girl, trust me when I say, there is nothing wrong with that. I love it, personally. Sure, you're gonna have your men and women who'll have OPINIONS about how you should look, but what matters is how you look to you and the person who finds you attractive. That's it. (And really, it doesn't even matter how the person who finds you attractive thinks.) There is a set of men and women who find being over a size 6 attractive. (And for the record; Sherri Shepard, you are NOT a size 6. If you're a 6, so am I. Be real with yourself.) I am one of them. Not to say that women who are size 6 and under aren't sexy or pretty or cute or attractive to anyone else, but it's JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA. That's my opinion. It doesn't mean, however, that I can't give them their props. This is why I have a big problem with Mo'nique. Not her size, no. But her having to tear down women that are smaller than her to build up herself and others? That's not cool, at all.
Those weren't jokes she was spitting, that was real life coming out of her.
I'm dark. Chocolate, as I've been called before. Do I have hurtful things to say about light-skinned people? No, I do not. Why should I tear down what someone else thinks is beautiful to build myself up?
That's my
long-winded point. Men don't do this as often, but women? Women will tear each other DOWN to build themselves up, and it hurts me to see that. It's a turn off; seeing a cute woman hate and lambaste on another woman because she doesn't look like her. So what? You're not perfect either, and to be honest, anybody who's looking for perfect should kill themselves now. You'll never find it. I'm looking for imperfection. I like women who are bigger than normal (whatever the hell normal is), with dimples, short hair, cute smiles (even a cute gap); I'm looking for a woman who not only knows her flaws, but EMBRACES them.
No plastic surgery. No heavy makeup. No ass pads and body suits and fake eyelashes.
Just realness.
You don't have to be cooked to perfection. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough tastes great. To ME. That's my opinion.
There's probably a person who thinks it's nasty. That's your opinion.
But that's all it is. Opinion. Not fact.
Stop tearing people down. What's ugly to you isn't ugly to me, so stop including me in YOUR opinions. Trust me, that "ugly" person has someone who you think is drop dead gorgeous all in their grill because they think that person is attractive.
Show me a person who thinks Nia Long is attractive, and I'll show you 3 people who are turned off by her. Not everybody has to look like whatever model you can think of. If everybody in the world was Quarterbacks, who would catch the ball?
Perception folks. It's all about perception.
P.S. Except for the woman I spoke of earlier. Oh, she IS the personification of beautiful. And that's not opinion, that's FACT. If you disagree, take it up with me and these two knuckle sandwich vendors I got. (Jokes, people. Jokes. The knuckle sandwich vendors part, not the fact part; if I could show her to you, you would think she's beautiful too. I SAID you would think she's beautiful too. Nod your head. Good.)
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