Thursday, February 5, 2009

Day 35

Mood: Melancholy

Mode: Hurt

Thoughts: I hurt.

I hurt for you.

I hurt because I know the pain that you're going through. I know what you're dealing with. I know why you keep putting up with it. Part of it is because you told me, but part of it is that I've been there before.

I know about the late nights spent up questioning yourself. I know about the days going to work wondering if everybody can see how that person makes you feel. I know all about being in public and feeling naked because it feels like everybody can see right through you. I know all about the river of tears streaming down your face constantly. I know about fighting the urge to forgive and forget everything just for a second chance. I know all about nights trying to sleep and all you can do is chase old memories about how things used to be. I know all about criticizing yourself in the mirror for hours on end inside and out, trying to figure out what you did or didn't do wrong. I know all about asking yourself why they don't want you any more.

I know all about it because I've walked in those same shoes.

I wish I could take that pain from you. I wish I could give you the life you deserve. I wish that you could be happy forever, no matter what the cost to me would be. I want that so bad for you. I always did.

Maybe my first wish is coming true. I can FEEL your pain, I can taste your tears. If you knew how bad I hurt for you.

I can't spit that old crap about 'It'll get better.' 'You'll find somebody else.' or, my personal favorite 'It's their loss.' You've heard it all before, and so have I, and I can tell you, it doesn't make it any better.

The only thing I can do is be there for you, just as I've always been there for you, just as I will always be there for you, no matter what.

Remember that.

Now playing: Adele - Make You Feel My Love
via FoxyTunes

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