Definition of Character (Or; Is she relationship material, or have I placed her in the friend zone?)

Sorry I've been away, M.Dot.


Had a busy week.


While I was work this week, I had an interesting conversation with Vex about the descriptions that men use for women that they are currently courting or dating.

He said that the girl he went to the movies with was "sweet". I raised an eyebrow to that, asked him again if that's what he meant. He said it was. I asked him if that meant she had no chance of being in a relationship with him. He said he thought about it, but eventually, she really wasn't what he was looking for in a significant other.

A.K.A. sweet.


As if a light bulb came on in my head, I thought about all the women I thought was "sweet", and those who I called "sweet women". And yes, there is a difference.

I had a date (or two) with a beautiful woman this week, and I must admit, she's a sweet woman. She's intellectual, witty, AND, here's the kicker, she can take joke or two. Earlier this year I had a date with a woman who, while nice and cool, wasn't really my speed, so when someone asked about her, she was simply sweet. Wish I had more to say about her, but nothing really stood out about her, and I don't want to come off as if she was some immature woman who didn't know what time it was. She wasn't, she just wasn't for me. I'm quite sure she's with someone who has more to gain from her, but I couldn't get on board with what she was talking about.

Men, just like women, have ways of placing people in certain categories. While I did agree with that whole 4 stage breakdown, I thought to myself, what if my personal breakdown goes even further than that? I mean, when I start breaking it down to interpersonal relationships, acquaintances , co-workers, and the like, I get so many more than 4 categories. Right now, I'm with a woman who's in the Time Getter category, which means, I enjoy my time with her, I don't mind spending more time with her, and she has the strong odds of becoming Baby Girl. Seeing as I don't have a Wifey at the moment, Baby Girl, according to the definition, is just one step away from becoming the Wifey. And since we're just dating right now (or more, who knows, we just turned a Blockbuster night into a weekend getaway....), I'm thinking I want to explore more options with her, like introducing her to close friends.

And, as any man will tell you, being introduced to the main crew is a big thing with us. That means you don't end up within the 4-months-of-dating-and-hasn't-met-any-of-his-friends-yet category.

See, if I say a woman is sweet, she's just that, sweet. Nothing more, nothing less. So, you've got a potential friend, or at the very least, a cuddle buddy to chill with. Of course, she knows her position, and she plays it well, she never steps across the line.

On the other hand, if I say she's a sweet woman, and then I spit out a flurry of other adjectives after that, then she means something to me, and I know, at least in my head, I want it to go somewhere other than down the street where I've been before.


Who knows, maybe it's all in my head.

But next time, listen to what dudes are saying. We drop clues in every word we say (and DON'T say) about what we have, what we want, and what we expect for the future.



Just some food for thought. You do the dishes.

~She Hate Me


P.S. Just in case you were wondering, I'm that Old Flame dude, to almost every female I've come across, with the major exception of Baby Mama. And I don't have to explain that category, do I? Lucky for me, I've only got one in that column.