Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Day 188 (The Dear Jane Edition)



Dear Jane,

You know, a lot of females ask me if the poetry and blogs that I write are about them. A lot of females think that because of the friendship between us, that's it's all about them. Let's not get this one confused.


This is for you.



We are breaking up. And it's not me.

It's you.



Actually, we aren't breaking up, because we never broke down and actually discussed how we felt for each other. Wait, we did. But while I was forthcoming and honest about what I felt, you on the hand, decided to beat around the bush.

You decided that I was number 2.

And you KNOW how I feel about that.

And, just like I told you what was going to happen a long time ago when we were younger, it happened.

You realize that you want to be with me. And now I've moved on. You didn't want me when I wanted you. Change that. You did want me, but you were scared of society.

You were scared of how people would view you. True, I'm not what people initially think. But I AM ME. And that's the greatest thing I can be. And you liked me for me.

However, there were SO many other hit it and quit it retarded fools options, that you decided to put me on hold until you could get it together. You thought that I would wait forever for you. You thought that I would always be there.


You thought wrong.

I waited as long as my heart would let me. I tried to reach out, tried to let you know that those feelings, no matter how diminished, were still there.

Had you told me how you felt 6 months and one day ago, we wouldn't be here right now. But you didn't. And on January 8th, all of my feelings for you finally died. No need wondering what happened, I'll tell you.

Nia Long knocked on my door.

I told you from jump if she ever knocked on my door and we weren't right that I was leaving with her, and that there is no need to be mad because I told you from jump.

Well, she knocked. We talked. 6 months later, she's ready to go.

And I'm out the door. No looking back.

You had your chance. You had my heart, wholeheartedly. I gave you all I had.

And you rejected me. You tossed my heart aside like a broken doll that you were done playing with. And someone finally came along and they are slowly sewing my heart back together. And now that I'm getting better than ever, you want back in. Now that every other guy that you've been with has gotten what they wanted from you and left, you want to come back to me so that you can finally be with the one man your heart knew you were supposed to be with from the beginning but your mind made you think otherwise.

Well, no ma'am.

I love you. A part of me always will, I promise. But I hate you, too. If you ever need anything, don't call me. I didn't know that I could love and hate somebody at the same time, but it looks like I can.

This is my Dear Jane letter. One that my mind wants you to see, one that my heart had to send.

And this is for you.

Love always/Hate for right now,

She Hate Me

P.S. If at any point you think that this letter is about you, take a moment to REALLY think about who I'm writing to. If you catch feelings, more than likely, it's for you.

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Now playing: Murs - Silly Girl (Featuring Joe Scudda)
via FoxyTunes

2 comments:

Darius Sinclair™ said...

Man, that was deep. And kinda funny. Lol

E's said...

You do really feel thing deeply, huh? Whoever it's for I'm sure understands...

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