The King Of Wishful Thinking (Or...actually, no "or" this time....)

You got me thinking.
Actually, you got me wishing.

No, really let's start with thinking.

Otherwise, you'll get me drinking.

Do we always say what we mean?

Or do we always mean what we say?

I know that's confusing.

But this isn't me at play.

Or trying to be cryptic as usual.

Did you really love me?

Or are the words you've said,

Just meant to float above me?

I'm always thinking about you.

Work, school, inopportune times.

Awake or sleeping, speeding or creeping.

24/7 I'm reading in between the lines.

Different smiles that you were showing me.

Different ways you were holding me.

I can't explain it, like calling to pay a big bill

It really seems like you always got a hold on me.

Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.

Do you understand that I love you dearly?

Had to go get my eyes checked.

Ordered new glasses just so I could see you clearly.

Was it worth it?

To run back to him to run away again?

Not trying to be funny,

Just wondering when this circle is going to end.

No more misbehaving, you.

No longer a damsel in distress, I can't keep saving you.

You say that you're leaving him, this time for good.

I applaud you, you're doing something that you should….

Don't mind me, I'm still mad at you.

For not doing what you said you would.

I'm lying, why would I be mad?

You're only doing what makes you glad.

Happy, loving, joyful and excited.

I just want our flame to get reignited.

I'm just wishfully thinking.

Or am I thinking wishfully?

I'm wishing I didn't think this much....

I'm thinking that I wish blissfully.

Give me all your wishes, for they are a beautiful and dangerous thing...

I think I wished for too much, which is why now, I'm the King.

So Intense (Or, I love WAY too strongly...)

So I'm intense.


I had to receive a knife to my chest tonight to realize that.


And what twisted the blade even more? Knowing that the one person in this world that I love enough to give up everything to be with doesn't love me back.


She said she never could. She told me to my face tonight that she could never love me the way that I love her. Ever. Period.


The Virgo. Doesn't. Love. Me.


Not in that way. Damn. She sees me as a "warm and fuzzy friend".

What the shit is that?


That's three times in 10 years I have had someone tell me that they don't love me the way that I love them. So now, I've got to figure out a way to not love as intensely.


I can't keep going through this.


I am SO tired of being in love - at least, while nobody is in love with me. If things don't change for me, I'm gonna marry the first woman who tells me she loves me as much as I love her, and she's gonna treat me like shit, because she will have given me what I have built up in my mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect me, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work. © Ferris Bueller


I just got off the phone with my cousin. Guess what?




Yeah, she said I was intense too. Ain't this some shit?


I'm intense. That's bullshit. I am a lover. I love wholeheartedly. If that's intense, then fine, so be it, I will not change who I am, because changing who I am will make me become an asshole. An asshole of epic proportions. But not to worry. I'm leaving Love behind.





If I had to choose between Love and a .38 right now, I would choose the .38 and put it right to the dome.




Excuse my bluntness, but fuck Love. I'm moving to Cynicville.

Untitled (Or, how about I haven't came up with a name yet???)

I thought we was supposed to make it through anything?
At least that what I thought when I gave you that wedding ring...
Blessings and wishes rained down on us 3 years ago.
We shared our dreams, embraced our love, and let our fears go.
But now, a host of problems later,
Seems as if to our relationship we don't cater.
Forget getting an abundance of love, you can't even place the order.
No more home cooked food, you best run for the border.
We don't even talk... about nothing at all.
Looks like our lust for each other set us up for the fall.
Sex was good in the beginning, now, even that's fallen to the wayside.
So, nothing else is left for us to have in common, and you wonder why my emotions I hide?
Scared of you to find out the truth, which is what I believe
to be the end all, be all, final straw, last nerve to make you leave.
I knew about your boyfriend, saw him kissing your lips.
I didn't get mad, I actually gave him some tips.
See, those days where you said you was in class,
I knew you was at his house giving up some ass.
Sorry for being so crass, but I guess it needed to be said.
I want you to be with him, simply because our relationship is dead.
Or was it even alive in the first?
Place my trust that he'll treat you better, satisfy your thirst.
He'll be your Sprite, you'll be his Pixie.
We've gone too far for this to be fixed, see.
I had to learn how to let you go, it's better for us both.
A flower needs sunshine to facilitate it's growth.
I had to stop drowning you with rain or burying you with more dirt.
You don't need me anymore, and I know this is more hurt.
Band-Aids over bullet wounds does nothing but make things more sticky.
So saying this to you made things a little more tricky.
More complicated, more difficult, I keep saying more, but I need less.
Less of you, less of us, less of what we call stress...


And that's Love.

Day for the Virgo....

My wish for you today is to enjoy it.
Relax around friends.
Enjoy being healthy.
Blow out lots of candles.
Eat lots of cake.
Receive many gifts.
Make sure you're happy, especially on today.
For today isn't just another day, it's your day.
A time for you to be the princess we all know you to be.
Get pampered.
Get a foot rub.
Get a back massage.
Get somebody to feed you.
Get somebody to love you.

Well, scratch that last one. You already have someone who loves you very much. My wish for you on your birthday is to take things one day at a time. There are so many things I want to tell you, but none of those things even matter today.


Today, it's all about you.

Make this birthday even better than the other 23. Make yourself happy.


I love you, Captain. Remember that.