Day 19

Mood: Cold (and I don't mean the temperature)


Mode: Sarcasm Enabled


Thoughts: I awoke this morning. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go to work. I didn't want to do anything but lay there.

I think back over the past 2 months. I wonder where exactly I went wrong.

Did I get traded in for the new model? I'm not stupid enough to believe I'm the best thing walking, so it could possibly be someone better for her beside her right now.

Or maybe a old boyfriend called and said he was sorry. You know how that goes. New dude gets the instant boot.

Maybe I'm just a bad kisser. LOL I mean, that was the last thing we did or said to each other before I got that text message.

(Side note, that's what pissed me off the most. A freaking text.)

She says that it's the fact that she's not feeling me like I'm feeling her. Really? When did you decide that? While we were.... No, you know what. I'm still a gentleman. I won't do that. I will say that it isn't what most of you gutter heads are thinking, trust me. Strictly PG action.

Moving on, cause that vision is stuck in my head. Hard to erase that memory when it's the last one, good or bad, that you have with a person.

No, wait. No moving on. Let me get this straight. Not even 12 hours after I left your house, I get the whole 'friends' spiel. The only thing that I said after I left until that text you sent was I made it home, good night, and good morning. So, sometime between me taking you out to eat, us going back to your house for a movie, and me going home, you all of a sudden decided that I wasn't what you were looking for? Did I say something? Food stuck in my teeth? I shouldn't have used your bathroom? I didn't leave the waiter a big enough tip?

I don't get it.

Maybe you never really was feeling me in the first place. You needed conversation while whomever was lallygagging with coming back to you. So, 2 months of... whatever you wanna call it, cause I damn sure can't call it, and it's just over?

Maybe it wasn't for me to get, you know? I just know I'm trying to sort through my feelings. First, it was confusion. Then sadness, as I said last night. Then, this morning, I was so down... but as the day progressed, I got upset, then mad, then pissed, then...

I'm so sarcastic right now. And from the looks of it, I'll be this way for a while.

I can't even write right now, my thoughts are all jacked up. I can't sleep, cause I'll probably dream of her. And I'm sick, ain't that about... Even separated, I can't get her out of my system. Sigh.

Day 19, complete.

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Now playing: Kanye West - See You In My Nightmares (feat. Lil' Wayne)
via FoxyTunes