Day 18

Mood: Disappointed


Mode: She Hate Me



Thoughts:

Always last place.

Always last to know.

Always waiting around for... something.

Always in the 'Friend Zone'.

Always.


I don't get it. I really don't. You don't want a thug, you don't want a slacker, you don't want to be hurt, you want to be loved, to be respected, to be emotionally, mentally and financially stable... and when you get it?

You say it's not what you were expecting. It's not what you want.

This is an open letter. The 'you' is referring to every single female who I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, the thrill of chasing, the joy of dating, and the sadness of leaving.

What is it about me that makes you think I'm some kind of play thing? That I'm one of the people hired to put you back together again, to help heal your broken heart, just for you to simply run into the arms of ANOTHER guy who'll hurt you? Is that what women do now? Do they run around saying:

"I want a gentleman. I want a man who'll take care of home and business. I want a good father for my kids. I want to be held, and loved, and respected."

...and then as soon as they find them, tell them that "I just want to be friends, because you're SUCH a good guy." Or, "I don't think I like you as much as you like me." Or, "You're too intense. I've never felt love like this before, but it's too much." Or, "I see you as my older brother." Or, "You're like family to me, we could never date." Or any other numerous reason that I've gotten over the years.

I am SO TIRED of the bullshit. I've been the Nice Guy for too long. I ask, always, always, always, in the beginning, tell me what you're looking for. If I can fit that mold, then I'll give it a shot. If not, I'll move on. I have enough 'friends'. These female 'friends' call me when the chips are down. When they have sex with a dude the first date and never hear from them again and they need me to console them. When they need me to ride with them out to his house to see if he's home, or if he has a new girlfriend. When something, anything, needs fixing and I have the skill to fix it. When he hits her, and she needs to cover it up. When he leaves her and the kids out in the cold, and they need a place to stay. I'm too available, right? I bet that's what's going through your head. So, what happens when I'm not available all the time? I get dropped like a hot potato. So now, I gotta think like every female is a flake? HA. That'll get me somewhere.

This is crazy. I'm crazy. I am. I have to be, to keep thinking that I can adapt to a female if need be, or I can be myself around anybody, or that I can change like a chameleon when the situation calls for it.

I'm tired, ladies. I want you all to think about this. Think hard, too, because it'll change your outlook on finding a mate, I promise. This will be the deciding factor in finally finding the man that is the closest to your Knight In Shining Armor as you'll get.

What is it that you want? And when you get almost EXACTLY what you want, what will you do with it?

Stop letting your brain (and your girlfriends who are single) get in your way. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, it's good. Really good. And it's all true. Not everything that's too good to be true is a lie.

Sometimes, life gives you lemons. And you make lemonade. Sometimes, life gives you everything you've ever wanted. Don't throw it away. You'll be losing out on what is possibly the best thing you've ever had.

Thankfully, Day 18 is complete.


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