Day 278

Things I've Learned In 2009

#2. People misunderstood the meaning of Fairy Tales.

Cinderella was a beautiful woman. Her step sisters and step mother were jealous, so they make her do all of the housework. She couldn't tell her father, he was so in love with them, he wouldn't believe her. She cries in the basement. Her Fairy Godmother hears her, grants her the opportunity to go to the ball where the Prince will pick his bride. She gives her a stunning outfit, but tells her that her curfew is 12:00. The Prince and her falls in love, but she has to run before she can tell him her name. She loses slipper. Back to the maid work. Prince goes around town looking for the girl with the glass slippers. Step mother believes her two daughters are the ones who can fit the shoe. Nope. Cinderella can, though. Prince marries her, father is left with his evil wife and evil stepdaughters.

Snow White's step mother tried to kill her because of her jealousy of Snow White's beauty. Step mom disguises herself three times to kill Snow White, but 7 dwarfs comes along and saves her. The third time, they couldn't save her, but a Prince comes along and kisses her. Snow White wakes up and marries the Prince. Step mom is quite upset, but for her evil ways, she's fitted with 2 hot iron shoes.

Sleeping Beauty slept until her true love kissed her. A old fairy cast a spell on everyone in the castle and they were put to sleep. 100 years later, a Prince falls in love and kisses her. She wakes up, marries the Prince.

Little Red Riding Hood was eaten by a wolf, but a hunter comes along and saves her and her grandmother.

Hansel and Gretel we're tricked by their father (via their step mother) to be lost in the woods, only to be captured and almost eaten by a witch. They kill the witch, grab her jewels, and go home to a grateful father whos now alone because the step mother died.

Beauty and The Beast was about a Beast who was cruel to one old lady, and a fairy turned him into a hideous beast. Belle's father wanted to provide for his three daughters; two of which were selfish and spoiled. Belle, through a series of events, had to stay with Beast. They eventually formed a friendship, and through a minor setback (see: death), fell in love.

The Princess and the Pea had a simple story: Prince want princess. He found no suitable partner. Girl comes in from a storm seeking shelter. She claims royalty. Prince's mother doesn't believe her. Has her sleep upon 20 mattresses and 20 featherbeds with one pea underneath. Girl wakes up with bruise. Prince believes that only a Princess could be as spoiled enough to feel a PEA under 40 layers. They marry. The End.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Or do you? What is connecting all of these stories? Here, I'll tell you:

Women get bitter as hell in their old age. Men are stupid. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time usually nets you what you've always wanted, provided you go through some hardship. Your step mother is a bitch. (Sorry for the crass language, but it's true.) Your father is a great man until he remarries. Then he is a punk.

Oh, and if you ever go skipping in the woods, a man carrying an axe is following your every move. (Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?)


I jest.


Seriously though, one of the most important things is this. Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.

Whatever the odds, no matter who is against you, even if it's family, if you step up and fight for what you want, you can succeed where others want you to fail. Keep your head up and stay focused on what you're reaching for. Shoot for the stars, even if you fail, you'll still be among the clouds.